


Learning To Love

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Friends to Lovers, Incubus Dean Winchester, M/M, Top Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 21:49:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20628080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: He was lonely. He began to talk to himself just to hear a voice. He’d stretch out his wings just to keep them in shape.At the end of two weeks, he was watching the stars when a deep voice startled him.“They are beautiful.”He turned to see a man sitting next to him.“Who are you? Why are you here?” Castiel didn’t know whether to be happy or frightened.The voice chuckled. Castiel wished he could see the man’s face but it was far too dark.“I’m here because you’ve been yelling for a long time.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my beta, maimalfoi!

Castiel paced the room like a caged animal. It felt like a cage, even though he could walk outside any time he wanted. He ran his hand through his perpetually messy hair. 

He couldn’t believe Raphael had banned him from heaven. Raphael said he should be thankful that his grace wasn’t taken from him, that he still had his wings.

But what good did they do him if he was shunned? He could never go back to heaven, never speak to another angel ever again. He might as well be dead.

He felt like there was no oxygen in the room. He was choking. He opened the front door and went out into the yard, gasping for breath. He looked up at the heavens, the stars shining in the night sky and fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself and felt the first pang of being alone. Totally alone. Heaven was full of his brothers and sisters, and he was completely alone in the universe.   
He took several deep breaths of the crisp night air and stood up. He looked around. His house was one of several on the street. It was a small town, in a small state, and he had no idea what he was going to do.

Sighing deeply, he walked back inside. He was going to have to get used to being there. He went into every room, looking around. There was a nice kitchen, but he didn’t need food. There was a big bed in a large bedroom, but he didn’t sleep. He went back to the living room and sank down on the couch with a sigh. He sat there all night, just thinking. 

He looked up and the sun was shining through the living room window. He got up and walked outside again, to see the place in the light. There were people walking by, but they didn’t look at him. He wondered if he was invisible.

A dog started to bark at him from outside the fence. He guessed at least animals could see him. But when a young girl walked by and said hello to him, he knew people could see him, even if they didn’t speak. He said hello to the girl.

He didn’t feel comfortable enough to leave the yard, so he went back in the house. He fell to his knees and prayed.

He didn’t know who he prayed to, it certainly wasn’t God, God was gone. The angels couldn’t hear him anymore. But he still prayed. He tried it on his knees, sitting cross legged, laying on the floor, on the bed, standing with his hands out. Frustrated, he stopped.

“I don’t know how humans do it.”

Days went by, then a week. Castiel never went anywhere but out in the yard. He would sit and look up at the stars at night, and watch the passersby during the day. 

He was lonely. He began to talk to himself just to hear a voice. He’d stretch out his wings just to keep them in shape. 

At the end of two weeks, he was watching the stars when a deep voice startled him.

“They  _ are _ beautiful.”

He turned to see a man sitting next to him.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” Castiel didn’t know whether to be happy or frightened.

The voice chuckled. Castiel wished he could see the man’s face but it was far too dark.

“I’m here because you’ve been yelling for a long time.”

Castiel felt insulted. “I do not yell, and I certainly did not yell at you.”

Again the chuckle. “Dude, you do yell. It’s all I can hear. You praying into the void, you sending out lost, lonely energy, It’s exhausting. So I came to check you out. See what the problem was. Now, it’s obvious. What did you do to get cast out?”

Castiel bristled. “I don’t know you. I don’t know what you are. I’m not about to confide in you.”

“That’s fair. Let’s go inside and we’ll talk.”

Castiel sighed. He stood up and walked to the front door. He felt the presence of the man behind him. He opened it and went inside, switching on the light as he did.

He turned and looked at the man. He was a little taller than Castiel, had rusty brown hair and green eyes the color of gemstones. Freckles covered his face. 

He was smiling, and it lit up the room. 

Castiel sat on the couch, and the man sat next to him.

“Okay. You’re Castiel, the fallen angel. I’m Dean. I’m an incubus.”

Castiel couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You’re… you’re an  _ incubus _ ? I can’t be talking to an abomination!”

Dean winced. “Dude, words hurt.”

Castiel felt immediate regret. “I’m sorry. I’m just shocked. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

Dean smiled. “Wow, you’re very polite for an angel.”

Castiel nodded. “I try.”

Dean chuckled. “Most of your kind are just feathered dicks.”

Castiel smiled a little. “Some of my brothers and sisters can be a little…  _ much _ .”

“You said it! I’ve only run into a few of them, but they were always rude. And a little uppity if I do say so myself.”

Castiel had to agree. He knew most of his brethren thought they were the top of the heap and every other creature, even humans, were beneath them.

Dean sat back. “Well, whatever you did, you probably didn’t deserve this. I heard you calling into the void, and I really sensed how lonely you are. I came to help.”

Castiel considered what Dean was saying. Dean may be a creature that the angels considered an abomination, but he seemed nice, and he was here to talk to. Castiel was sick of the loneliness. He wanted someone around.

“Thank you, Dean. I will accept your help for as long as you are willing to give it.”

Dean grinned. “Great! So, where’s the bedroom?”

Castiel tilted his head. “You wish to sleep?”

Dean roared with laughter. “Not to sleep, buddy, to fuck!”

Castiel squinted at him. “Fuck?”

Dean’s smile faded. “Uh, yeah, like to make the beast with two backs? Do the horizontal mambo?”

Castiel still looked confused. 

“Holy crap. To have coitus? Castiel? Get it?”

Castiel looked shocked. “You think I’m going to have coitus with you?”

“Well, yeah. I am an incubus. It’s kinda my thing.”

Castiel shook his head. “No, no, you’re mistaken. I can’t have sex with you.”

Dean grinned. “Come on. You must have got it on with an angel before. Never did a little cloud seeding?”

Castiel shook his head again. “I never had the opportunity.”

Dean laughed. “Two things I know for sure. Number one, Bert and Ernie are gay. Number two, you need to get laid.”


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel looked like a deer caught in headlights. “This is not why I wished for companionship.”

Dean smiled. “So, why do you want someone here?”

Castiel went back to the couch with Dean right behind him. He sat. Dean sat.

“I hate the silence. It is too quiet here. I am used to hearing all my brothers and sisters talk on angel radio. The silence… it’s maddening.”

“So all you want to do is talk? Just… talk. Great.”

Castiel turned his face away from Dean and gave him a side eye. “You may leave.”

Dean looked at him. “Leave? You really want me to leave?”

Castiel turned his head back with a sigh. “I don’t want you to go, but you came here under false pretenses. I wasn’t careful about what I prayed for. It’s my mistake. You don’t have to stay here, when what we want is very different.”

Den sighed. “Look, I get that you’re lonely. I’d hate to be alone for the rest of eternity, and I figure I can stay and  _ talk _ . It won’t hurt me.”

Castiel allowed himself just the touch of a smile. “Thank you.”

Dean waved his hand. “No biggie. So, what you want to talk about?”

Castiel considered it for a moment. “How old are you?”

Dean chuckled. “You are never supposed to ask a girl that.”

Castiel squinted. “But you aren’t a female.”

Dean shook his head. “It was a jo… you know what? Nevermind. I’m around three hundred years old. You?”

“I have no idea. I have been around for millenia. I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, ‘Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish.’ I am ancient.”

Dean shook his head. “Wow. And I thought I’d seen a bunch of shit. What else have you seen?”

“I remember the Tower of Babel – all 37 feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. And when it fell they howled, ‘Divine Wrath!’ But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.”

Dean laughed. But then he looked at Castiel with a frown. “So, what did you do? It had to be something huge for them to kick you out of heaven.”

Castiel sighed deeply. “I proposed freedom. But I have since learned that freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it. And explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish.”

Dean looked at him. “Wow. Kinda bitter there.”

“Do you blame me? I was banished from heaven! Only one other angel has ever been banished, and he is Lucifer!”

Dean reached out a hand and covered Castiel’s. “Easy there, cowboy. You’re nothing like Lucifer. What the angels did was crap, and you didn’t deserve it. But you gotta let that go. It’ll drive you nuts.”

Castiel took a breath. “You’re right, of course. I apologize. So, do you like being an incubus?”

Dean chuckled. “Sure do! I get to bone anyone I want to. What’s not to like?”

Castiel tilted his head. “And that’s enough for you? Just to…  _ bone _ people?”

“It’s my nature, Cas. I do what I was made to do. And I was made to fuck.”

“But you are still here, with me, even though I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Dean grinned. “Hey, there’s always tomorrow, Cas. I think you’ll change your mind.”

Castiel shook his head. “I assure you, I won’t.”

Dean smiled a little smile to himself. “Well, I’m beat. Even incubi have to sleep sometime. I need about four hours.”

Castiel stood up. “Of course! Please, take the bed.”

Dean stood up and stretched. “Thanks, Cas. I’ll see you later.”

Dean went to the bedroom and shut the door. Castiel sat back down on the couch and thought about Dean. He was still fairly shocked that an incubus had shown up as a result of his prayers, but it was nice to finally have someone to talk to. Even if he’d shown up thinking Castiel would have sex with him, when he’d told Dean no, Dean still stuck around.

Castiel wondered if all incubi were that nice, or if it was just Dean.

He’d had a couple of run-ins with succubi, and they were awful, vindictive creatures. Vicious. But Dean was his first incubus, so he had nothing to go by. 

Castiel went back outside to look at the stars and wait for Dean.

A few hours later, the front door opened and Dean came and sat next to him on the steps.

He yawned and looked at Castiel. “Dude, I just gotta ask. What’s with the outfit? You in disguise as a holy tax accountant?”

Castiel looked down and fingered his tie. “It’s what my vessel, had on.”

Dean looked at him with a frown. “You wearing some poor bastard?”

Castiel looked back up at Dean. “He’s no longer in here. I was blown apart on a subatomic level. He’s in heaven with his wife now. This is all me.”

“Blown apart? Man, that had to be rough. But why aren’t you… you know, dead?”

“I was resurrected. It’s a punishment resurrection. It gets worse every time.”

Dean gawked at him. “Every time? How many times have you been brought back?”

Castiel shook his head. “I lost count.”

“Dude, you are a mess.”

Castiel nodded. “I am. I keep messing up. I think I’m doing things for the right reasons, but it always turns out badly.”

Dean put a hand on Castiel’s thigh. “Well, look on the bright side. That ain’t gonna happen again.”

Castiel nodded, but looked at Dean’s hand on his leg. It was very warm, almost hot. And his thigh tingled under Dean’s hand. Dean looked down as well, then pulled his hand back.

“Sorry.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Why would you be sorry?”

Dean looked shy. “It’s… I probably shouldn’t touch you.”

Castiel just let it go. If Dean didn’t want to touch him, Castiel couldn’t blame him. He was, after all, a terrible angel.


	3. Chapter 3

They sat and watched the sun come up over the houses across the street, the sunlight streaming through the leaves of the huge oak tree that stood guard in the yard. Then they went back inside.

Dean walked around the room. “So what did you do all day, you know, before I got here?”

“Read, a lot. Watched the people pass by, sometimes outside, but mostly through the window. Paced. Prayed. Sat and thought. Felt regret.”

Dean turned and looked at him. “That sounds awful. This really is hell for you, isn’t it?”   
Castiel sighed. “It is my own personal hell, yes.”

Dean smiled. “Then I’m really happy I came here.”

Castiel sat on the couch. 

“So, what was the worst? Of everything you said, what was the worst?” Dean sat down next to him.

“The silence is the worst. Not being able to hear my brothers and sisters talking. It’s just so quiet… in my head.”

Dean grinned. “Hey, that’s what I’m here for. To talk your ear off.”

Castiel smiled at him. “I’m very grateful to you.”

“So, what’s your favorite book?”

Castiel thought about it. “Well, I enjoy the classics. Greek gods, Roman gods. I especially love the stories about Achilles and Patroclus, Alexander and Hephaestion, stories like that.”

Dean smirked. “Dude those are all gay couples. You’re gay!”

Castiel squinted at him. “I assure you, I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation.”

Dean laughed. “Sure. Sure you are, buddy.”

Castiel frowned. “If you are implying that I’m somehow gay, I assure you, I am nothing of the kind.”

Dean grinned at him. “Probably more pan than gay.”

Castiel tilted his head again. (Dean found it absolutely adorable) “I’m a cooking implement?”

Dean roared with laughter. “Holy fuck, you’re too easy. No, dummy,  _ pansexual _ . It means you don’t care what gender a person is.”

Castiel nodded slightly. “I think that is accurate.  _ If _ I were to have sex, that is.”

Dean patted Castiel’s shoulder. “Yeah, I know, you aren’t interested in sex.”

“And yet you keep bringing it up.”

Dean circled his face with a finger. “Hello? Incubus? It’s kinda in my nature.”

Castiel laughed. “I guess it is. I’m surprised you know about Greek gods.”

Dean made a face. “Hey! I read!”

“What are your favorites?”

Dean thought about the question. “Well, I like Vonnegut.”

Castiel nodded. “Do you have a favorite story?”

“Well, I like Slaughterhouse Five, but I guess my favorite is The Sirens Of Titan.”

Castiel frowned. “I’m not familiar with it.”

Dean looked shocked. “ _ Dude _ ! You’ve got to read it! Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He disappeared.

He was back in the wink of an eye, holding out a dog-eared copy of the book. Castiel took it and looked at it. It had obviously been read many times.

“Thank you. I’ll read it right away.” He opened it and sat back to read.

Dean smiled and then got up and walked to the bookcase that was in a corner of the room. He looked at the books and then pulled one out and sat next to Castiel and began to read as well.

They read for over an hour and then Dean shut the book and stood up, stretching and cracking his back.

Castiel shut his book as well. “Are you in pain?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, just been sitting too long.”

Castiel stood up and put two fingers to Dean’s forehead. Dean felt a rush of energy go through him. When Castiel took his fingers away, Dean felt perfect.

“What did you do?”

Castiel smiled. “I still have my grace, for a while at least. It will fade over time.”

Dean frowned. “Why? Why would it fade?”

Castiel sighed. “I’m banned from heaven. Heaven is where our grace comes from. Eventually, I’ll be human.”

Dean sighed. “How long will that take?”

Castiel sat back down. “I have no idea. Centuries, I would think. It will get weaker and weaker. Eventually, I’ll lose my wings and be human. Then I will age and die.”

Dean sat down beside him. “Cas, that’s terrible! So really, they gave you a death sentence.”

“I suppose they did.”

Dean felt terrible. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

Castiel smiled a little at him. “I don’t think there is. But it’s fine, Dean. I’m not afraid to become human.”

“Well, you should be. This sucks.”

Castiel chuckled. “It’s because of my love for humanity, I ended up here.”

“What do you mean?”

Castiel sighed. “I loved humanity more than my brethren. At least, that’s what they told me. I tried to tell them that humans are the best of Father’s creations but they called it blasphemy.”

“That’s shit, Cas. They really are a bunch of feathered dicks.”

Castiel laughed. “You know, I’d have to agree with that.”

Dean stood up and walked around the room. “So, where’s God in all of this?”

Castiel shook his head. “God is gone. He left. He’s been gone for eons now. No one knows where he is.”

“Deadbeat dad, huh?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean looked out the window. “So, you’ve never left the yard?”

Castiel nodded. “I have not.”

Dean turned to him with a smile. “Well, I suggest we go for a walk then!”

Castiel hesitated. “I don’t know Dean…”

Dean walked to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him off the couch. “Oh come on. What do you have to lose?”

Castiel let Dean pull him to the front door. Dean opened it and they walked outside. Castiel followed Dean to the gate. He opened it and held out his hand. Castiel took it and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Dean looked up and down the street. “So, which way? Left or right?”

Castiel shook his head. “I have no idea.”

Dean grinned. “Okay, then right it is!”

They walked a block down the street and there was a small park across the intersection. It had children playing. Dean led them there. They sat on a bench, watching the playground.

“I love to watch the little ones. They are so full of joy.” Castiel leaned his chin on a hand.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, they don’t have a care in the world.”

They watched the kids for a while, then Castiel turned to Dean.

“I’d like to go back now.”

Castiel looked so sad. Dean stood up. “Sure, Cas, let’s go.”

They walked back to the house without a word.


	4. Chapter 4

When they got back inside, Castiel sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

Dean sat next to him. “What’s up, Cas?”

Castiel looked at the floor. “I’m just not ready to see… such joy.”

Dean felt sad. “Come on, Cas. You’re going to have to come to terms with this sooner or later. It won’t do any good to get maudlin. Cheer up! You’ve got me.”

Castiel looked at him with a small smile. “You are absolutely correct, Dean. I need to make my peace with this. And I do have you as a friend.”

Dean grinned at him. “That’s the spirit. Now, is there anything you ever wanted to do as an angel that you couldn’t? A secret desire?”

Castiel sat and thought about it. “I can’t think of anything.”

“Oh come one, not anything? Paint? Write a novel? I don’t know, ride a mechanical bull?”

"I always thought knitting looked relaxing.”

Dean looked at him. “Knitting? Like… knitting. Fuck, calm down, Cas! Don’t get wild on me.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Knitting is not… good?”

Dean felt a pang of guilt. “Oh sure, Cas, it is good enough. I’ll get you some supplies. Do you need an instruction book or somethin?”

Castiel told him that would be a good thing to have, and Dean disappeared. He was back in a few minutes, his arms full of yarn, needles and a book. He dumped it all on the couch.

Castiel’s smile lit up the room. “Thank you!”

Dean sat next to Castiel as he read the instruction book. Castiel took up the needles and some green yarn and got started. Dean picked up the book he’d been reading and left Castiel to it.

After a while, Castiel had a long, messy-looking thing going on. Dean looked at it and chuckled. “Doin’ great there, angel.”

Castiel looked at him with a gummy smile. “Thank you! I’m enjoying myself immensely. I thought of another thing I wanted to do.”

Dean grinned. “And what’s that?”

“Beekeeping.”

Dean looked puzzled. “Bees? Don’t they, like, sting people?”

Castiel laughed. “Not honeybees, Dean. They are very placid.”

Dean nodded, but he was still a little uncertain. “Well, let’s give the knitting thing a go, what say? Maybe we can try bees later.”

Castiel nodded. He had the tip of his tongue between his teeth in concentration. Dean thought he looked cute. He read more.

The next time Dean sat his book down, the long thing had gotten wider. It was still pretty messy, with holes in places and tight stitches in others. 

“Hey buddy, it’s really coming along. What is it anyway?”

Castiel looked at him and held it out proudly. “It’s a scarf. For you.”

Dean blinked a couple of times. “Uh, for me? Wow, Cas, that’s just… just great. Thank you.”

Castiel beamed at him. “It’s to keep your neck warm.”

Dean smiled. “No, yeah, I got that. It’s, uh, it’s beautiful. No one ever made anything for me before.”

“Then I’m glad I could be the first.”

Dean sat and watched Castiel knitting the scarf. He felt a little twinge in his heart. He wasn’t lying when he said no one had ever made anything for him. No one had ever given him a gift before. Incubi didn’t get gifts. He sighed and picked up his book again.

Day became night. Dean put down the book.

“Cas, isn’t it time to take a break?”

Castiel looked up at him. “I guess. I think I got a little carried away.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, just a touch. But it seems like you’re enjoying yourself.”

Castiel smiled. “I am! Thank you so much, Dean.”

Dean smiled at him. “You’re welcome. So, want to stargaze for a while?”

They sat together on the front steps, looking at the sky.

“Uh Cas, what do you need to start beekeeping?”

Castiel looked at him. “Well, I’d need hives, mainly. But first I would need to plant a garden. You know, flowers for the bees.”

Dean grinned. “I get it. Okay, then what do you need to start a garden?”

Castiel thought about. “I guess I’d need a shovel, some way to till the soil, some fertilizer, and some seeds. I can’t think of anything else right now.”

Dean grinned. “Consider it done!”

Castiel smiled. “Dean I can’t ask you to do all that.”

“You didn’t ask, I offered.”

Cas reached out a hand to touch Dean’s arm, but Dean pulled away. 

“Uh, Cas, you probably shouldn’t touch me.”

Cas looked confused, but nodded. “Okay, Dean, if you say so.”

Dean nodded and turned back to look at the stars.

Dean slept for about three hours, and then told Castiel he’d be back. He was gone for hours, and Castiel began to worry that he wasn’t coming back. He’d grown fond of the incubus, and it would be sad if he just left.

Then Castiel head noises coming from the side of the house. He went out, and found Dean, dumping bags of fertilizer on the ground. There was a tiller and two shovels. There was a pile of seeds on the ground.

Dean turned to Castiel with a grin. “Sorry it took me so long, but I think I got everything.”

Castiel walked and looked at everything. He picked up the seed packets and looked with each one with a huge smile on his face.

“Dean! Everything is perfect. I don’t know how to thank you.”

Dean grinned. “It’s okay, Cas. Shall we get started?”

They worked steadily the rest of the day, but when they were done, there were neat rows of tilled soil, mixed with fertilizer, and the seeds were planted. 

They stood back, sweaty and tired, but smiling.

“We did it, Cas!”

Castiel smiled at him. “Yes, we did, Dean.” 

Castiel touched Dean on the forehead with two fingers, and he was clean. Then Castiel cleaned himself, and they went to sit on the steps.

“So how long before they come up? I have like zero experience growing anything.”

Castiel chuckled. “We should see some sprouts in a few days.”

“That’s so cool! I guess I really like gardening.”

Castiel chuckled more. “Remember that when the garden needs weeding.”


	5. Chapter 5

In a few days, the first seedlings were pushing their way out of the ground. Castiel was pleased, but Dean was thrilled. Castiel stood at the side of the house, smiling while he listened to Dean, squatting on the ground, talking to the sprouts.

“Who’s a pretty little plant, huh? You are! Yes, you are. You’re going to grow up and have beautiful flowers. I’m so proud of you!”

Dean blushed beet red when he looked up and saw Castiel standing there with a big smile. He jumped up, brushed off his knees and looked sheepish.

Castiel didn’t say a word, just got the watering can and watered them.

It wasn’t long before all the seeds had sprouted and they had the beginnings of a garden. 

In the meantime, Castiel finished Dean’s scarf. Dean wrapped the thing around his neck and Castiel grinned at him. 

“It’s beautiful, Cas. Thanks.”

Castiel began a pair of socks. This time in blue sparkly yarn.

They walked to the park once a week, and Castiel did better with it. They would sit and watch the kids play. They read. Castiel enjoyed the Vonnegut book and Dean got him another. Dean worked his way through Greek classics.

The plants grew, and soon, there were the first flowers. Dean talked to Castiel about the beekeeping.

He went away and came back with a wooden box to be the hive, and a smoker. He didn’t have any idea where to get bees from, though. Neither did Castiel. So Dean brought back a book about beekeeping and they both read it.

Castiel was a little discouraged when it said that bees needed to be ordered months ahead and that the hive should be started in April. It was already April. Dean told him not to worry, that he’d take care of it.

He came back with everything they needed. Castiel considered asking him where he got all the things he brought back, but decided his didn’t want to know.

They set the hive up in the backyard, and sat back to watch the bees buzz around the flowers. Castiel could sit there for hours. Dean would leave him to it.

Dean could tell that Castiel’s grace was fading. It wasn’t some obvious thing, but a lot of little things. He didn’t ask Castiel about it.

Castiel dozed off on the couch while he was reading. That was a big one for Dean. Angels didn’t sleep.

But then, Castiel heard Dean throwing up in the bathroom. Dean came out, looking pale.

“Dean? What’s the matter? Are you alright?”

Dean smiled weakly and shook his head, “Fine, I’m fine, Cas. No worries. Just a little bug.”

Castiel knew that incubi didn’t get sick, and he wanted to ask about it, but Dean would just brush him off if he tried.

As the summer wore on, they were both having some problems. Castiel knew something was wrong with Dean, and Dean knew Castiel’s grace was burning out. But they didn’t talk about it.

When Castiel was able to harvest some honey, he put it in jars and put them near the sidewalk with a sign that said, ‘Free Honey’ and the jars disappeared.

Castiel made Dean two pairs of socks. Dean grinned and put them on. The second pair was rainbow striped. Dean said he loved them.

Next, Castiel started on a cap.

Castiel abandoned the trench coat and took off his tie. He opened his shirt down three buttons and rolled his sleeves up to the elbow, and went outside to weed the garden. Dean was already outside.

When he saw Castiel, his eyes got big. He licked his lips. He stared at the angel for a while. When Castiel noticed it, he asked Dean if something was wrong.

“Do I have dirt on my face?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “What? No, no… you’re fine. I was just. Uh… thinking. Sorry.”

Castiel smiled at him and went back to weeding.

One day, they were reading, and Castiel’s stomach growled. Castiel looked down at it, and Dean sighed.

“Cas, you need to eat.”

Castiel looked forlorn. “I suppose I do.”

Dean stood up. “I’ll get some food. What do you want?”

Castiel shook his head. “I have no idea. I’ve never eaten before.”

Dean sighed and disappeared. When he came back, he had a lot of food. Castiel looked at it with a puzzled expression.

“I guess I need to learn how to cook.”

Dean grinned and pulled out two beginner’s cookbooks. “We’ll learn together.”

Their first few attempts were complete failures. Dean stood at the door and waved a towel to clear the smoke from Castiel’s attempt at meat loaf. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get the hang of it.”

Castiel grinned. “I certainly hope so. This is quite… frustrating.”

Dean chuckled. “I know.”

The year marched on. They each got weaker and still didn’t talk about it. Castiel thought Dean looked pale, and he was losing weight. He wished he could do something, but Dean expressly forbade him from ever touching Dean. And he wasn’t even sure he had enough grace left to heal him if Dean would let him.

The bees did well, they gave away a lot of honey, and the garden flourished. Castiel finished the cap for Dean and began a sweater.

The trees started to change color, and they sat on the porch watching the season change. Castiel hurried to finish Dean’s sweater. When he handed Dean the finished sweater, which was a deep purple, almost maroon color. Dean put it on with a smile. 

“Thanks, Cas. I love it.” Castiel beamed at him.

They went to fix Castiel something to eat. He’d discovered a real love of cheeseburgers.

“These make me very happy.”

The good thing was how easy they were to make. Dean made the patties while Castiel got out the tomato and lettuce. He added ketchup. He was putting the meat on a bun when Dean collapsed.

Castiel ran to him, getting down on the floor next to him. 

“Dean! Dean? What’s wrong?” 

Dean was white and pale. He tried to smile at Castiel.

“I’m pretty sure I’m dying.”


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel got Dean to the bedroom and laid him down. He got a cool cloth and put it on Dean’s forehead. 

“Dean, what do you mean you’re dying? You can’t die! Please, just tell me what I can do!”

Dean smiled weakly. “It’s okay, Cas. I knew this would happen eventually. I just wish I had more time with you.”

Castiel sat on the bed next to Dean. “What do you mean, you knew? You knew what? Talk to me!”

Dean coughed. When he had his breath back, he smiled at Castiel again.

“Cas, I love you. I have since the moment I answered your prayer. I wanted to be with you. But I’m an incubus. I need sex to live.”

Castiel sucked in a breath. “You need sex? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you leave?”

“Because I love you, Cas. And you didn’t want sex. I accepted that. It’s fine. Just promise me you won’t go back into a funk. Keep knitting, keep gardening, just live for me. Promise me.”

“No! I won’t promise. I can’t bear the thought of living alone, without you!”

A tear ran down Dean’s cheek. “Please, Cas.”

Castiel stood up and paced the room. He’d been selfish. He’d been blind. Of course an incubus needed sex! That was why Dean never wanted Castiel to touch him. If he had, he’d been unable to resist Dean.

It suddenly dawned on him that he loved Dean. He was in love with Dean. Dean was the most important being in Castiel’s life.

He began to undress. Dean looked at him.

“What are you doing?”

Castiel smiled and kept pulling off his clothes. 

“Cas stop! I don’t want you to…”

Castiel cut him off. “Shut up, Dean. I want to. I really want to.”

When he was naked, he got on the bed next to Dean. He leaned over and kissed Dean. It was tentative, light at first. Dean grabbed his face and pulled him closer, and the kiss got deeper.

Castiel was surprised how nice it was, how much he enjoyed kissing Dean.

They kissed for a while, and Castiel became aware that he was getting hard. He broke away and looked down at his penis. It was hard and getting harder. He looked at Dean’s penis and it was hard as well, standing up from his groin. It was wet at the tip.

He looked back at Dean. Dean smiled at him. He already had more color in his face.

“Dean? I don’t know what to do.”

Dean pulled him in for another kiss. “Get on top of me. Just do what comes naturally.”

Castiel straddled Dean. He could feel Dean’s cock rub up into his ass. 

Dean grinned. “Can you lube yourself up?”

Castiel concentrated, and felt his hole open a little and when he reached behind him, he felt a slickness there.

He positioned himself over Dean’s cock. Dean grabbed it at the base to hold it steady and Castiel sank down.

It hurt. It felt like he was being impaled. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. Then he sunk down more. The pain became a burn, but it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. He sat down on Dean and waited. The burn went away and Castiel felt full, but he liked the feeling.

Dean waited, smiling. When Castiel was all the way down on him. He groaned. 

“Fuck, Cas, it feels amazing.”

Castiel smiled down at him. “I concur, Dean.”

Castiel put his hands on Dean’s belly and lifted himself until just the head of Dean’s cock was in him, then sank down slowly. It felt incredible. Castiel moaned.

Dean put his hands on Castiel’s hips and helped him move up and down. It felt better with every movement. Castiel felt Dean’s cock running over his rim, filling him over and over. He began to speed up and it got even better.

Dean was looking better. He had color in his face, and it actually looked as if he was filling out again. 

Dean turned over, taking Castiel with him. Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean’s hips and Dean began to push in harder. Castiel could hear himself, making sounds he’d never made before. He grabbed Dean’s arms.

“Dean, Dean… it’s so good… I never… augh!”

Dean smiled at him and pumped in and out. Castiel was aware of his cock, but had no desire to touch it. It was enough, feeling Dean inside him.

Dean pulled Castiel’s legs even higher and leaned forward kissing Castiel. It made Dean’s cock go even deeper and it began to rub over some spot inside Castiel that made him feel like he was being electrocuted from the inside. He gasped. 

The feeling started in his balls and spread out. When it reached his penis, Castiel came.

He yelled. He clenched down on Dean’s cock tight. He squeezed his eyes tight and saw the universe behind his eyelids.

It was unlike anything Castiel had ever experienced in all his eons of being alive.

When he came back to himself, Dean was coming as well. Castiel could feel every spurt of Dean’s hot cum, filling him. 

When it was over, Dean pulled out. Castiel gasped at the sudden empty feeling. Dean laid down next to him and pulled him into a hot kiss.

“Dean, I… I’m speechless. That was so amazing! I loved it. And I love you Dean. I love you too.”

Dean smiled. “I know, Cas. I know you do.”

Castiel looked at him. “How? How did you know when I didn’t?”

Dean laughed. “Babe, sometimes you are oblivious. Kinda dense.”

Castiel chuckled. “I guess I am.”

They laid together, wrapped in each other’s arms. After a while, Castiel turned to Dean.

“So, are you all better? Is this all you needed?”

Dean smiled at him. “I’m better. And since you’re becoming human, I’m thinking we can do this alot. That will keep me healthy and you? I’m thinking sex will make becoming human a little more tolerable.”

Castiel smiled back. “Oh I think it will too!”

They laughed and took a nap.

And that was the beginning of a very long, very happy and satisfied life together. It turned out that even though Castiel had lost his grace, he still could live for eons more.

Dean was ostracized because of his being with Castiel exclusively, but it didn’t bother him a bit. 

The garden, the bees, the knitting flourished and so did they.


End file.
